Dick Lightning's Mixed Bag

Dick's Track: Lucky Man - The Verve

2008-03-09T11:03:00.000-07:00

Track # 9 off The Verve's third album, Urban Hymns, Lucky Man was a Top 10 hit in the U.K. and went Top 20 in the U.S in 1997. Following the worldwide success of Urban Hymns, The Verve slowly imploded and called it quits in 1999. They would reunite in 2007.

Happiness
More or less
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh, my, my
Happiness
Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing
I know just where I am
But how many corners do I have to turn?
How many times do I have to learn
All the love I have is in my mind?
Well, I'm a lucky man
With fire in my hands
Happiness
Something in my own place
I'm standing naked
Smiling, I feel no disgrace
With who I am
Happiness
Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing
I know just who I am
But how many corners do I have to turn?
How many times do I have to learn
All the love I have is in my mind?
I hope you understand
I hope you understand
Gotta love that'll never die
Happiness
More or less
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Happiness
Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing
I know
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my
Gotta love that'll never die
Gotta love that'll never die
No, no
I'm a lucky man
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my

Dick's Literary Lightning: Kull and The Screaming Skull of Silence

2008-03-08T21:22:00.000-08:00

A creation of prolific fantasy and pulp fiction author Robert E. Howard, stories of Kull are a unique mix of battlefield heroism and the introspective bonds of leadership. During a visit from an ambassador of Pictdom, Kull is told the tale of a castle that houses the Skull of Silence. A manifestation of an imprisoned force of nature that could force silence onto the whole of existence.
Somewhere exists the essence of silence, the soul of silence. Nothing that is something; an absence so absolute that it takes material form. How many of you have ever heard complete silence? None!
Kull and his troops journey to a wild region where the great black castle sits on a lone hill. Against the warning of his advisers, Kull approaches the door where a gong and mallet made of jade sit. Upon opening the door, riders and their steeds drop. Soldiers scream without sound and clutch their heads to stave off the throbbing, billowing waves of still horror. Still standing, Kull looks into the castle and sees nothing. The air around him moves like a wave, the escaping Silence sends a painful vision through his mind.
Men died in gibbering stillness; the roar of rivers, the crash of seas, the noise of winds faltered and ceased to be. All sound was drowned by the Silence. Silence, soul destroying, brain shattering - blotting out of all life on earth -
Kull looks to the gong, realizing it to be a final safe-guard. Like the sea, the gong is never silent and never still. Vibrating and pulsing day and night, the enemy of silence. With each strike, Kull pushes the Silence back into the castle until the Silence gives way to Sound. Like shutting the door to Hell, Kull finally triumphs over the cosmic onslaught on his soul, body and mind.

For the complete tale and many other greats, check out Kull: Exile of Atlantis, a collection of short stories and unfinished drafts, complete with new illustrations created specifically for the volume.

Lightning Across the Pond: No Country for Old Men

2008-03-07T18:02:00.000-08:00

We check in with Dr. Tom Jolliffe as he takes us inside Best Picture Winner No Country for Old Men:
The story is brilliantly split and interwoven between three points. There’s Josh Brolin as Llewelyn Moss who stumbles across the remains of a recent drug deal gone bad. Dead bodies lay strewn and he happens across a case full of cash. When he foolishly decides to return to the crime scene he sets in motion a chain of events that put his life on the line. There’s also the psychopathic killer, Anton Chigurh who drifts around doing whatever he pleases, killing whoever he deems to have inconvenienced him. The people who think Chrigurh works for them, little realizing that he works for no one. His focus becomes locked on Moss and the cash, setting up the chase aspect of the film. The third element is world weary sheriff Ed Bell, who sets his focus on uncovering the events that lead to the drug deal gone bad, and on finding the over his head Moss. It’s three elements combining brilliantly. The film shouldn’t really work, but the ingenious thing about it, is that it does!
The script is superb. From the start of the film to the end, we gradually uncover more and more. The script offers us so many set ups and pay offs, while like all the best chase movies, there’s a brilliant logic to Chirgurh’s tracking methods. He doesn’t simply appear at the right place when the story needs to move along. In much the same way as The Terminator, there’s something systematic about the way he tracks Moss. It’s intelligent, it works, and adds depth and more excitement to the chase. The Hollywood norm is to forgoe such logic and simply has the chaser appear to terrorize the chase without much reasoning to how they got there. Terminator 3 for example had none of the intelligent build up of the first two films, or indeed No Country. No Country isn’t firstly an action movie, but it manages to be incredibly tense, pulsating during the chase scenes. It’s the mixture of clever touches, the look, the sound design (exceptional) and the performances too, but as a chase movie, it’s one of the best. Indeed what further propells this film to the level of instant classic status, is that fact that it’s got more to it than merely being a chase film. The third element of Lee Jone’s detective work and self analysing life affirming Sherrif Bell, adds a great humanity, soul, and philosophical debate to the picture. There’s several genres and sub-genres that this film becomes entrenched in- doing so to the apex of each element. As an overall piece, it’s just a joy to watch, deconstruct and marvel at.
The film is wonderfully paced. It’s both vast and self contained at the same time, a bizarre yet brilliant mixture of epic western and claustrophobic chase movie. Combining with the artistry of Deakin’s photography, the Coen bro’s paint some brilliant imagery, from the opening chase at dawn with Brolin being chased down by a pick up truck with armed adversaries inside, to Brolin's first close encounter with Bardem. It all looks great and as I mentioned every camera move seems entirely, and perfectly, thought out and delivered. It’s a movie of perfect beats. It’s the shots, the movement within shots, of shots, of cuts. In the same way as Once Upon A Time In The West is a perfectly constructed piece, No Country is of that ilk, and there are very few such movies. Carter Burwell’s score is highly effective. He doesn’t have much music in it, but what there is, is effective and atmospheric.
As I walked out of the screen, contemplating the brilliant alluring, and no doubt endlessly debated, ending scene, not to mention the preceding brilliant beforehand, I knew right then, I’d just seen one of my favorite films. I loved it, simple as that. I raved about it to my brother, with pure exuberance. He wanted to see it beforehand, but following my reaction, his desire became tenfold. We then went to see it a day later. The second viewing, in as many days I can tell you now did not fall behind even in the slightest. The film stood as tall and as proud as it had done upon first seeing it. It was, is, a marvel of filmmaking. A cult movie fans dream, a mainstream movie fans dream. For the thrills it’s exceptional, for the drama it’s powerful, poignant, and it’s all so clever. If No Country For Old Men was to have a fight with any of the other Coen movies; several of which rank as some of my favorite movies, then we’d be talking No Country as superman in the blue (and red, with a bit of yellow) corner and Woody Allen, with his arms behind his back, in the grey corner; No contest and no kryptonite in sight.

Daily Head Space

2008-03-07T17:56:00.000-08:00

"Man with hand in pants feels cocky all day."
-Confucius, interpreted by modern scholar.

Lightning Spread: K-1 World Grand Prix 1996 Final

2008-03-07T17:12:00.000-08:00

October 1996. Andy Hug defeats Bart Vale by first round TKO at the K-1 World GP Prix Opening Round, securing a berth to the finals. In June, Hug would join Peter Aerts, Mike Bernardo, Musashi, Sam Greco, Ernesto Hoost, Mirko CroCop and Duane Van Der Merwe at the finals. A grueling affair, the K-1 World GP Finals would find its champion through tournament elimination. In the fourth bout of the first elimination round, Andy defeated South Africa's Duane Van Der Merwe with a quick left hook in the first round. His next fight would be a legendary showdown with Holland's Ernesto Hoost, which saw the two battle back and forth for three action packed rounds. Declared a draw, Hug and Hoost went to the first of two stipulated overtime rounds where they reached a draw again. In the second overtime round, Hug would pull off a split decision and clinch a spot in the Finals Finale against Mike Bernardo.
Fierce and formidable, South African Bernardo earned a KO victory over Peter Aerts and a decision over Musashi. In two earlier meetings, Bernardo had over powered Hug, winning by TKO and KO. Finally figuring out the big man's weak points, Hug went to work, dropping Bernardo to the mat with low kick after low kick. Streamers and confetti rained inside the arena as Andy Hug was declared the K-1 World Grand Prix 1996 champion.
Thanks to a recent YouTube post, you can now watch Andy's journey to the championship.

Dick Lightning's Traveling Workout

2008-02-25T07:29:00.000-08:00

When you're on the road, working out and eating clean can be tough. But not that tough. If fitness is ever going to become a lifelong habit, you need to be able to work out anywhere at anytime. Sure you're used to seeing people running up and down the sidewalk. But jump rope in a parking lot and people think you're a weirdo. Alas, as Dick Lightning always says, "Their loss is your awesomeness." Just remember to pack your training shoes, a jump rope and a few protein bars.
During a week of Illinois foot high pie, Missouri pizza and beer, Flagstaff Thai, Las Vegas Buffet and California Dim Sum, Dick Lightning correspondents VienDammage and Carpetbomb Slick managed to stave off the traveling slump and keep on rockin'. Here's how!
Arms and Shoulders at the University of Missouri-Columbia Student Recreation Center. Three stories of weights, cardio machines, a rock wall, swimming pools and a juice bar that sells Myoplex at un-jacked up prices! Go with a student and get in free.
Cardio and push ups in the parking lot of the La Quinta Sedona. Forty miles south of Flagstaff, a gorgeous resort town complete with golf courses, tours by helicopter and Humvee, dozens of art galleries and a lot of folks over fifty. Use the curb to change your push up elevation and prepare to be asked, "So what are you training for?" by random hotel guests, some of them twice. This workouts free baby, you just have to do it!
Cardio at Red Rock Canyon National Conservation Area. Twenty minutes off the famed Las Vegas Strip, we channeled our inner Randy Couture and Evan Tanner by hitting the sandy trails. The elevation hits you in odd ways, VienDammage was breathing for his life but didn't feel his heart beating. CarpetBomb Slick got a slight headache buzz from the altitude. After braving the ups and downs of the Calico Hills path, we hit the rock formations for a little free climbing and hoping we didn't fall into the crevices below. It's a National Preservation Area so a car costs five bones.
Cardio with triceps and back at Huntington Beach. We hit the sand early for a coastal jog, the wind blowing salt water at us like somebody just spit on a fan. After the run, we found some old bike racks and did some pseudo pull ups and rows. Nearby we pumped out some bench dips on a concrete barrier. Park at the Pier side shopping center and the only bucks you'll have to cough up are for the Jamba Juice afterwards.
It's all out there, you just have to figure out how much you want it. Or how you can steal it.

Tom's Day at the Movies: No Country For Old Men

2008-02-25T07:14:00.000-08:00

Tom takes us on a trip to see the Coens' latest lauded offering, No Country For Old Men. Here's part I of Doctor Jolliffe's pleasant experience.
Not long into 2008, merely weeks, and I decided to go out of my way to a nearby cinema to see No Country For Old Men. Out of my way as such because my two nearest, and favoured multiplexes decided not to show this particular film (though following its box office success, they have since put it in their line up). I knew No Country For Old Men would be good. I’d seen a few good reviews without delving to hard into too many, so as not to give anything away. I also knew it was vintage Coen, and given that I’m a big fan of the brothers C, I was excited to say the least. So off I ventured- a 20 minute bus ride, to the Regal Picture house in Henley On Thames. I got there, whipped out my still valid Student ID (even though it’s been a over a year since I was a dirty tax dodging student!), and got my self a nice little discount. A clean, round fiver for my ticket, a good wedge less money than the bigger multiplexes, even after student concession. A word on the Regal picture house in Henley, well it’s a delight! An old fashioned, very British style cinema. We’re talking 3 screens, not huge, but big enough for that “cinematic” experience, while the sound system is loud, punchy, but not obnoxiously so like the more American styled cinemas I usually go to.
Indeed I watched Sweeney Todd a week or so after No Country, and aside from finding that film watchable, yet highly overrated, it’s wretched songs where played about 100 decibels higher than wretched songs should be. But the Regal was homely, relaxed, tasteful, and impeccably presented. With ticket in hand and a now emptied bladder (in preperation for the 2 hours plus running time that I didn’t want interrupted) I casually strolled into screen number 1. Given that this was a midday showing on a Tuesday, the screen was currently empty- and by the time the film started only two other people entered to watch this sucker. I felt no shame in watching this alone. It was after all a spare of the moment decision, and being as my days off are weekdays, and most of my buds have weekends off, I felt inclined to just go myself rather than wait on when I could rope someone else in to see it too.
The trailers came up, nothing really distracted me from my Coen inspired level of concentration I was building up, that is until There Will Be Blood’s trailer popped up on screen. A cracking trailer and for one main reason, Daniel Day Lewis. Even in this 2-minute trailer, every truncated glimpse and tease of Day Lewis’ performance had me fascinated, intrigued, engrossed and just in awe. The guy’s a great actor, to the point he spews forth immense charisma, immense gravitas into the short preview. Definitely one to mark in my diary. Trailer, over, and now to the main event! Tune in next time as Tom breaks No Country For Old Men wide open!

Tower of Troof Photography Presents

2008-02-11T05:48:00.000-08:00

Vision of the West

Tower of Troof Photography owner/operator James Coats has kindly provided Dick Lightning with an exclusive sample from his "Live Natural" set.

White Lightning: "I Ate the Worm: T-Shirts, Tequila and Mezcal."

2008-02-09T10:47:00.000-08:00

And here we go again. Dick Lightning proudly presents a new addition to the team, as Jason !El Guapo Guero Loco! gives us his thoughts on a South of the border staple.

At some point in your life, you have almost certainly seen a stereotypical “party naked co-ed” shirt from Cancún or Tijuana boasting tequila-inspired “I ate the worm” slogans. Available at countless tourist stores and roadside souvenir stands in any Mexican city catering to tourists with more money than sense (or taste), these unfortunate shirts are a chronic hallmark of the week-long drunken orgy known in the US as Spring Break. Featuring bright cartoons of what look like earthworms with giant smiles and sombreros, these silkscreen wonders have spawned popular myths and misconceptions about tequila and tequila drinking. Although I’m generally not a fan of such spectacularly tacky souvenir t-shirts, more to the point is that I don’t like the display of drinking ignorance they perpetuate. But that’s ok, read and learn. If there is one booze I really enjoy it is tequila, and I’m here to help you enjoy it too.

There are two basic things wrong with those shirts. First, although there is a tradition of floating invertebrates in some Mexican liquor, tequila never ever has a worm in it. If you ate the worm, you weren’t drinking tequila, and instead you probably had a smashing hangover from a rougher booze called mezcal. Sometimes spelled “mescal” or “mexcal”, this fiery beverage is closely related to, but distinct from, the more famous tequila. Although mezcal and tequila are both distilled from a group of desert plants called agaves, they are produced from different varieties. Whereas mezcal can be made from a handful of agave varieties, tequila is manufactured from only one kind: Agave tequilana Weber, blue variety. Also called blue agave (in Spanish, agave azul), this plant is famous in the tequila-producing regions of Mexico for the greenish-blue hue of the long, spiky leaves. Mexican tequila distilleries use this type of plant, and only it, when they make tequila, and cultivate huge fields of it in Central Mexico.

Besides the main ingredient, another important difference between tequila and mezcal is how the two are produced. Both liquors are distilled using the extracted plant sugars from agaves, but tequilas are distilled at least twice and are carefully filtered to remove impurities. On the other hand, mezcal is considered finished after one distillation only. As a result, mezcal often has a more bold color and a more pronounced smoky flavor. Although I don’t personally enjoy the smoky taste, which is the result of baking the agave in an underground kiln, it is considered one of the desirable traits of mezcal. Because of the multiple distillations and filtering process of tequila, especially the more refined types, it tends to have a smoother and mellow taste. To me, this is more palatable.

Returning to the sombrero-wearing worm, happily swimming in mezcal (not tequila), brings us to the second basic mistake. The thing floating around in the bottom of a bottle of mezcal is called a maguey worm, but it is in fact not a worm at all. It is really the larva, or caterpillar, phase of life of a moth that lives around agave plants. The “worm” eats agave leaves before it transforms into its adult form, and in large numbers can devastate agave crops. Some mezcal producers insist that because the caterpillars eat agave leaves, they absorb the “essence” of the plant and enhance the flavor of the liquor. Although on mezcal plantations the insects are collected and bred, they are destroyed in fields dedicated to tequila production because they weaken the plants.

The tacky t-shirts that the next-door fraternity picked up while binging south of the border only function to conflate tequila and mezcal. Mezcals tend to be cheaper than even cheap tequila because of the wider variety of agaves and shorter period of distillation that are involved in production, and as a result are easier on the bankrolls of college kids who just flew 1,200 miles to party in Mexico. So, it tends to be bought and drunk more often if you are a drinker on a budget and don’t know any better.

If your face crinkled up into an expression of disgust after taking a drink of mezcal, like mine did, savor the memory of having tried something new and different. However, I would also encourage you in trying something else new and different: a nice shot glass of 100% agave azul tequila meant for sipping, not shooting. You’ll be surprised at the difference, and you won’t even have to worry about the worm. Salúd!
Tequila suggestions:
One of my personal favorites is Gran Centenario Añejo. Aged in oak barrels for at least a year, this mellow tequila is a fantastic (if somewhat expensive) buy. Worth every penny, I like to savor the taste of this spirit completely by itself, no salt, no limes, and one sip at a time. Tastes great with tortilla chips and a salsa loaded with chopped cilantro.
A cheaper alternative is Sauza Hornitos, a brand of mid-range tequila you can find in any decent liquor store. It’s not bad if you like to do tequila shots, jello shots, body shots, what-have-you. It makes for a great mixer and I like to use it when I make my own margaritas.

Dick's Cardio Obliteration

2008-02-09T06:12:00.000-08:00

Jean-Claude Van Damme's face is dripping sweat. A vision of agony, hunched over a stationary bike's handles like Lance Armstrong, legs pumping furiously, sweatshirt soaked through. He postures up, slowing his pace and taking his pulse. "It's about 600 calories in 40 minutes, which at my age, 42, is pretty good."
-Excerpt from Dans la peau de Jean-Claude Van Damme?

Daily Headspace

2008-02-04T13:14:00.000-08:00

"El Caballito" or something like that. A "caballito" is the traditional shot-glass that tequila is served in. They're thin, straight-sided, and tall, much like many super-models. I will continue to mourn the loss of the American hour-glass figure in favor of the anorexic rails in fashion these days. But, that's a different column entirely. An alternative name would be "A Drop in the Glass", it may be a little less presumptuous and more approachable than El Caballito.
-Jason "El Mucho Guapo" Fenton

Dick's Time Out: Baldwin's on television.

2008-02-04T10:33:00.000-08:00

Anyone else notice that all four Baldwin brothers are on television? No, not Alec on reruns of Saturday Night Live or Inside the Actor's Studio. Not Stephen in the umpteenth showing of The Usual Suspects on TNT. Nor William on USA's millionth airing of Backdraft. Not even Daniel on Homicide: Life on the Streets in syndication. Dick's talking current, prime time gigs on major networks. Go ahead, flip through and you're bound to find a Baldwin on a lauded satire, raising money for charity with a billionaire, as a spineless politician or trying to get others to stay in rehab while he plots his own escape.

Yep, Alec, the reputable brother with the flaring temper, star of The Hunt for Red October and host of Saturday Night Live a whopping sixteen times is on NBC's 30 Rock with Tina Fey and Tracy Morgan. Stephen, the goofy joker of Bio-Dome and The Usual Suspects, raises money for breast cancer research and children's hospitals alongside Gene Simmons, Lennox Lewis and other celebrities on NBC's The Apprentice. Leading-man William of Backdraft and Fair Game mixes it up with Donald Sutherland on ABC's Dirty Sexy Money. And last but not least is the jowliest Baldwin, Daniel, of Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man and John Carpenter's Vampires on VH1's Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.

Since their acting debuts, each Baldwin has attained a degree of success in film and television. Their personal lives are also well documented in the cases of Alec and Daniel. With each being on current television, have the brothers hit an equal plateau? Not really. Alec is still the leader, garnering rave reviews and an Emmy nomination for his work on 30 Rock. Big brother was even called in to help on an episode of Celebrity Apprentice where Stephen's all male team went on a three week winning streak before seemingly imploding in its own success. William maintains his role as the "other Baldwin" as Dirty Sexy Money attains mild success in a career of mild successes. After battling cocaine and pain killer addiction, Daniel came to Dr. Drew's rehab facility to help others, acting as a rock to withdrawal suffering patients like Jeff Conaway and Jessica Sierra. But after a facility barbecue gets a little too raunchy, Daniel makes like a tree, and gets out of there.

Who's next? Will the stars align and send Keenen Ivory, Dwayne, Damon, Marlon and Shawn Wayans to network television success? Nah, they're still doing pretty well in the movies.

Lightning Spree: London and Led Zepplin

2008-02-04T09:28:00.000-08:00

Back for part two of our English Double Shot as Dick Lightning correspondent Cochise gives us his quick thoughts on traveling across the Pond and the mighty reunion of Led Zepplin.

Nobody was wearing sweat pants or tennis shoes with their jeans. Everybody had on nice, casual clothes, nobody was fat or dumpy looking.

You see all these signs, oh it's only 4 pounds...then you realize, wait a minute, that's 8 bucks...

The guy took my order and said something to me but I couldn't understand him, so I just kinda said yeah and looked around. Then he said it again, that they'd bring my sandwich out to me so sit down. Oh, right.

It was intense man. He'd just be going off, like in a daze or a trance, drooling on himself. It was awesome.

The place is clearing out but there's still people going against the crowd, coming in to go to the after party backstage. All of a sudden the crowd kind of parts, and there is he is, less than three feet away from me, Noel Gallagher.

There's no turnstiles for the train. It's all honor system. So I'm just hopping on it back and forth all weekend. Then on my way to the airport, the guy asks for my ticket. Uh I don't have one. No ticket? That's a charge! Yeah man I know, how much?

Lightning Across the Pond: Missionary Man

2008-02-04T08:49:00.000-08:00

In the first of our double shot from England, Dr. Tom Joliffe takes a look at Dolph Lundgren's newest starring and directing outing, Missionary Man. With more buzz than usually reserved for a direct-to-DVD action affair, Missionary Man hit the US Top Rentals at # 26, raking in $2.15 million in rental revenue. The Swedish karate champion turned chemical engineer turned action movie icon returns to the Top 50 for the first time since Detention rang up $760,000 in January of 2004.

Tom writes:
Dolph’s latest film, and his third foray into directing, is once again one of his career best. Like The Mechanik, Dolph puts to bed some of the murkier days of his back catalogue, and proves, that the best man to help bring Dolph Lundgren back into the limelight, is Dolph Lundgren! Delving once more into a film with a theme of revenge, as in The Mechanik, there might have been a niggling worry, that re-treading that ground could breed familiarity. But what Dolph delivers is an action film in style, tone, and look, that is not only far removed from what he’s previously done, but a film that just looks and feels fresh. There aren’t many action films out there like Missionary Man, on a visual, tonal level. There’s a kind of Frank Miller vibe at times, and a bit of Robert Rodriguez too.
In Missionary Man, Dolph stars as Ryder, a mysterious stranger who rides into town for a friends funeral. Pretty soon he’s rubbing local oppressor John Reno up the wrong way. As the film progresses we start to see Ryder has other motives for being in town. It’s a modern western and has some great western trademarks, including a fantastic climax. However though on paper the story has similar arcs as Dolph’s previous directing effort, Missionary Man is such a contrast. It’s a whole different style of flick, and with Dolph’s increased level or creative control since his last directing gig, it’s a more complete vision. Perhaps unfinished business that Dolph touched upon in The Mechanik.
As director, Dolph really has a great visual eye here. What’s great about the film, is that beyond the choice of super-16, it feels as if Dolph is in complete control. He’s constrained by a tight budget certainly, but he spends it brilliantly, and really creates a great atmosphere. Dolph, his DP Bing Rao, and steadicam operator, George R Niedson combine to create a visual delight. There’s some great shots in this film, and it has a feeling of being a graphic novel brought to life, particularly with some almost picturesque still shots. Dolph has gone all out here. He’s really put the work in, and he’s really experimented with his choice of shots. At times it feels quite arty, and considering this is a DTV film, and a Dolph Lundgren film, that’s quite something! The choice of super-16 is one that can be fraught with peril. There’s a graininess to it, and the way it picks up light and colour can sometimes make a film look bad if not in the hands of a capable or inspired DP. Seagal’s Urban Justice is an example of a super-16 film that looked particularly horrible. No such problems though on Missionary Man. Of course not only is the film well shot, but given it was shot on super- 16, there was the advantage of it being mastered directly onto HD. This also allowed for easier digital grading, as well as ensuring the film looked crisp. I mean this sucker has a great transfer. Dolph makes full use of the grading tool, and gives the film an almost monochrome look. The de-saturated picture adds to the foreboding atmosphere, and is also ably helped along by the low key and effective score by Elia Cmiral (Ronin, The Mechanik). Elsewhere Dolph knows action, having worked with the likes of John Woo, and he delivers here. Obviously given the budget, there’s no huge set pieces, but in a film like this, it wouldn’t feel right anyway. There’s short punctuations of violence throughout the film, before the inevitable, and just downright badass showdown. Dolph just goes Terminator on some biker dudes and it rocks the action Kasbah!
As actor, Dolph does well here too. He’s no Olivier, he knows it himself, but he plays to his strength, playing the Eastwood style man of few words, but immense badassedness (not a real word, but should be!). Parallels with Clint will be made of course, both being movie tough guys who made the jump from actor to writer and director. Dolph will not likely have the success of Clint, but he’s the straight to video equivalent I guess, and there’s no great shame in that anymore. Even Al Pacino has tasted the nectar of straight to video, even Morgan Freeman too. Dolph’s got that tough guy charisma. Nowadays what we lack in cinema is action stars, with the sheer hardness and tough as nails presence that Clint, Bronson, Arnie, Sly, and the likes of Seagal and Lundgren, used to deliver. We’ve not had any new action men come along who had the same presence, merely pretenders like Vin Diesel and The Rock. There’s also been thesp’s like Matt Damon, who while magnificent as Bourne isn’t gonna settle down into the handing people their asses genre. You do have to, with the odd exception, have to look in the direct to video market for a good old school hardass action flick, and visit the old guard like Dolph and Jean Claude. There does some to be a new resurgence now in old school action flicks foregoing the overly complex ideas, reliance on CGI, avid fart stylistics, and pg-13 namby pambiness. Along with the advent of digital screens, meaning cheaper distribution, we might just see a return to the multiplexes for the old guard. Sly’s hit a resurgence, and in the DTV market, so have Van Damme and Lundgren, and no one would deserve another shot at the big time, and the cinema, more than Lundgren, out of the DTV action heroes.
The remainder of the cast are mixed. Given the films budget, the support cast isn’t great. The incidental characters, probably including locals given a place on screen, aren’t great. Thankfully though the important roles are well filled. As Reno, Matthew Tompkins makes for a good bad guy. Also starring is August Schellenberg a very good actor who fans of Free Willy will likely remember, and he adds a bit of gravitas to proceedings. Young actress Chelsea Ricketts is superb, and surely has a bright future ahead of her (the kid who plays her older brother isn’t great to be honest- but his role is insignificant). John Enos III stars as the lead biker and Ryder’s main foe, and though he only comes in toward the end of the movie, he does a great job.
Overall, while the film won’t win originality prizes, it feels fresh because of the style. It’s just a good old fashioned R rated action film, proving big set pieces and oodles of CGI do not make a good action film (*cough* Transformers!! *cough*). Dolph is getting more assured behind the camera with every film, while also showing a versatility to switch style and tone. All three of his films have been markedly different, but Missionary Man stands out as something that is perhaps his most unique work. Action fans will not be disappointed. I’d love to see Dolph given a bit more money to play around with. Plus given how much of a badass Dolph looks during the finale, I’d hope we might see him appear somewhere in a Tarantino, or Edgar Wright flick, someone with a gift for the surprise cast. Fingers crossed, cause the big man deserves it. ****

Stat Lightning: Dublin Davis Irish Report

2008-02-04T08:21:00.000-08:00

He's back. They're back. It's all back. Following a post-holiday slump, Coach Obrynba's Dublin Davis Irish 8th Grade Girls Basketball Team has stormed back into the winning column, taking FIVE of their last SIX games, including a victory in Tournament action. When we last left Insane from the Ukraine Coach Obrynba, the journeyman was searching for a way to reinvigorate his team after suffering back to back losses. Well bottle it up and sell it from the trunk because reinvigorated they were as Dublin Davis conquered the Norton Wildcats like poachers unleashed in a nature preserve, winning by 32 points for a final of 43-11. From there, the Irish dropped one contest to Hilliard Heritage 19-27 but rebounded with three straight victories to end the regular season. Overcoming Dublin Grizzell 28-22, Dublin Karrer 28-9 and Dublin Sells 36-7. Do you see the pattern emerging? I hope so because it's pretty obvious. Hungry for victory, the 8th Grade Girls Basketball Team took on Worthingway in their first game of Tournament Play, triumphing 29-15. Stay tuned as we continue to follow the Dublin Irish in their quest for the gold.

Lightning Will: Cap on Drugs!

2008-02-04T06:33:00.000-08:00

What happens when you give the specimen of metabolically enhanced human perfection a concentrated dose of designer stimulant? One of the greatest mini-series in Captain America history, that's what!
That's right. For seven issues in 1990, Captain America fought a new battle. The battle against being a junkie. Not intentionally of course. Caught in a warehouse explosion filled with street candy ICE, Cap's system is overloaded with the potent pick me up. Erratically navigating his way through the streets and meeting up with the likes of Daredevil, Diamondback, Black Widow, The Red Skull, Crossbones, Bullseye and The Kingpin himself, Wilson Fisk, Captain America finally ends up alone in a dank alley. Coming down hard off of his super high, a shambled sight of paranoia and unfocused aggression.

The FDA's new Anti-Substance Abuse Slogan:

Use drugs and Cap will whup that @$$.

Captain America # 372-378. Gruenwald. Lim. Bulanadi. Marvel Comics.

Check out Mycomicshop.com for issues.
Marvel.com for Captain America details.

Lightning Showdown: Tombstone vs. Wyatt Earp

2008-01-13T07:40:00.000-08:00

Tombstone. The tough and taut action picture showcasing Wyatt Earp's struggles in a growing Arizona town. Wyatt Earp. The sweeping epic biography of one of America's most mythic figures. While both films tackle the same general subjects, they are vastly different. But both films share a glaring similarity, they include two of the greatest ensemble casts ever assembled on film. Let's take a look at how the teams stacked up against one another.
To start things off, we step into the boots of the man that started it all, Wyatt Earp. In Tombstone, the Wyatt Earp Kurt Russell plays is a man retired from law enforcement, looking to settle down with his brothers and make some money. Charming one minute and violent the next, Russell gives Earp a manly yet deceitful quality that suits the part well. Meanwhile, we actually view Kevin Costner's Earp through a long character progression. Coming into law enforcement and mighty reputation through sheer accident and luck, Costner plays Earp more internal than Russell. Unsure he's doing the right thing at times and brooding under the weight of responsibility. Russell gives a more lively and fiery performance with his natural alpha male machismo and bombastic voice. Kevin Costner does his Kevin Costner thing, mistaking cockiness for confidence and forever looking dour even in moments of excitement.
Kurt Russell is Wyatt Earp (He even named his kid Wyatt!).
As important and fascinating a part of the Wyatt Earp mythos, dentist turned gambler John "Doc" Holliday plays a crucial role in both films. Tombstone's Val Kilmer brings a coolness to the southern gentleman turned gambler and legendary gunfighter which exudes self assurance. Coughing fits and exhaustion brought on by tuberculosis can't stop the unrivaled gunman from dispatching his enemies when needed. Whereas Wyatt Earp's Dennis Quaid brings a more human touch to the character. Looking gaunt and sickly, Quaid never strikes as an iconic sight that Kilmer does. Instead, he opts to play a man who's given up on life and taken up alcohol, women, gambling and killing to fill the void. Playing the role closer to the cuff of what Holliday's life was probably like, Dennis Quaid is Doc.
Older brother and lifelong lawman Virgil Earp is played by Sam Elliott in Tombstone and Michael Madsen in Wyatt Earp. Elliott brings his usual strength to the role, playing the hard case of the family. His Virgil is not one to be trifled with and accepts the role rejected by Russell's Wyatt to give the town some law and order. Michael Madsen steps out of the way at every chance to let Costner's Wyatt take charge. Madsen plays Virgil as a simple man, happy to accept his position as a lawman in life and nothing more. Elliott is simply given more to do and does so with ardor and force. Sam Elliott is Virgil Earp.
Rounding out the quartet is little brother Morgan Earp. Played by Bill Paxton in Tombstone, Morgan hangs out with Virgil and backs his brother's play when Virgil becomes the local law. Paxton creates a naive sense about himself, pondering the afterlife and belief that killing a man wouldn't leave it's mark on his soul. Wyatt Earp's version of Morgan finds Linden Ashby playing the little brother as an upstart, itching for and not bothered by violence. His brash competitive nature is offset by a lewd sense of humor most can appreciate. Neither actor or role seals the deal in this case. Paxton's Morgan is fine as the little brother eager to emulate his elders while holding his own and learning about himself. Ashby's Morgan is nearly chomping at the bit, ready to throwdown at a moment's notice or shoot the sh*t to put a friend in a better mood. Too close to call. Bill Paxton and Linden Ashby are Morgan Earp.
And there we have it. Tombstone goes 2-1-1 as Wyatt Earp falls short at 1-2-1.
Give me Kurt Russell as Wyatt, Dennis Quaid as Doc, Sam Elliott as Virgil and either Bill Paxton or Linden Ashby as Morgan. Tune in next time as we take a look at the villains, Curly Bill, Ike Clanton, Johnny Ringo and so many more.

Stat Lightning: Dublin Davis Irish Report

2008-01-12T09:56:00.000-08:00

And we're back. Dick Lightning and friends hope your Holidays were happy as we bring in the new year with Coach Obrynba's Dublin Davis Irish 8th Grade Girls Basketball team . Still looking for the shut out victory, the Crazy Ukrainian Daren Obrynba will have to go back to the drawing board, as the new year heralded the end of Dublin Davis' SEVEN game winning streak. Going into the Holiday rush like an exploded dam, the 8th grade girls of Dublin Davis waved goodbye to Westerville St. Paul, doubling the efforts of their competitors en route to a one sided 30-14 victory on 12/20.
But success coupled with school vacation led to a loss of focus when the Girls returned to the hardwood gymnasium floor on 1/8 against Hilliard Memorial. In an off night, the team wasn't able to get the offense going, scoring only 4 points, the entire second half. Obrynba's Dublin Davis Irish fell to 7-1, by score of 21-17. Looking to rebound quickly two nights later, the Dublin Davis Irish took on Hilliard Weaver but were unable to secure the victory, trailing 24-19. With five games remaining in the season, there's still plenty of time for Coach Obrynba and the 8th grade girls to rededicate themselves and come back swinging.

Dick's Throwing Low's. Kicks that is.

2008-01-11T10:27:00.000-08:00

The low kick. A vicious yet underused tool in today's Mixed Martial Arts scene. Not as glamorous as a knock out or slick as a submission, the low kick seems relegated to being viewed as a jab with the leg. But in the arsenal of knowledgeable fighters like Keith Jardine, Georges St. Pierre, Andy Hug and Mr. Low Kick himself, Rob Kaman, the low kick can turn an opponent into a grimacing, bruised and staggering victim of defeat.
High kicks aimed for the head can produce shocking knock outs, but more often than not, high kicks sail over an opponents head, can throw a fighter off balance and opens them up for a takedown. The low kick isn't meant to be a one hit fight stopper. Instead, low kicks disrupt footwork, inhibit mobility and pay dividends over time. Like a jab, the low kick can be used to set up further offensive attacks or to gain distance out of the pocket. Using the shin as a weapon, thus providing greater surface area to strike, the low kick can be aimed to the outer and inner leg around the knee and thigh.
Rather than kicking with a straight leg, the low kick is thrown with a bent knee to allow full hip movement and energy transference. Opposite of snapping the kick, the low kick is focused on sweeping the leg and kicking through the target. Avoiding and checking the kicks, by bending and lifting the attacked leg are the best defense. A fighter may absorb low kicks without consequence early on, but sooner or later, bruised flesh, instability and limping are sure to follow.

Check out legendary kickboxer and Van Damme pal Rob Kaman demonstrating the low kick below. Imagine you're the training partner but not holding a pad.

Dick's Dog: Rowlf the Bartending Piano Player.

2008-01-11T06:36:00.000-08:00

Rowlf: Stay away from women. That's my motto.
Kermit: But I can't.
Rowlf: Neither can I. That's my trouble.

An early creation and signature character of the fabled Jim Henson, Rowlf came to early prominence while appearing on The Jimmy Dean Show from 1963-1966. With a world weary panache and penchant for beer, women and the piano, Rowlf was far from a typical children's animal novelty. But was such an adult edge too much for mainstream popularity? Or were the eccentric yet non-threatening personalities of Kermit the Frog, Fozzie the comedian bear, Gonzo the Whatever and Ms. Piggy the diva more palatable for the general public? Opinions may vary but one thing's for sure: Rowlf is Dick Lightning's Top Dog.

Dog barks.
Rowlf: Yeah, bark bark!
Dog barks faster.
Rowlf: Uh-huh, wolf wolf!

A loner by design, Rowlf was never constantly paired up with a complementary cast mate a la Kermit and Fozzie or Gonzo and Rizzo. His introduction in The Muppet Movie finds him working behind the bar and ivory keys of a rowdy dive. The Great Muppet Caper has him playing piano in an empty, guest free hotel in England. On The Muppet Show, Rowlf would recite poetry and occasionally lead the orchestra but would never become a member of house band, Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. He would later show up in animated form on The Muppet Babies. Getting into various nursery adventures with Kermit, Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo, Scooter and Skeeter. A mix of bartender and blues pianist, Rowlf dispensed nuggets of wisdom while showcasing a laconic sense of humor.

Miss Piggy: I may be a nurse but I am a woman first.
Rowlf: No, you're not. You're a pig first. Nurse second. I don't think woman made the top ten.

Following Jim Henson's tragic premature death, Rowlf was all but retired as a leading or supporting player on the Muppet stage. Appearing silently in the background, Rowlf was a reminder and remembrance of the imagination and creative force of a man who truly left his world better than he found it.

Up to date Muppet news:
http://www.muppetcentral.com/news/2007/index.shtml
Full Rowlf report:
http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Rowlf_the_Dog

Lightning Across the Pond: Die Hard

2008-01-05T07:35:00.000-08:00

And we're back, once again we welcome the knowledgeable and affable Tom Jolliffe as he takes us to number 19 of his personal 20 favorite films, with DIE HARD.

Tom writes:
Continuing my top 20 movies, at number 19 is probably the greatest all out action flick out there. It is of course Die Hard. Die Hard has a level of awesomeness about it that few action flicks ever come close to capturing. It’s quite simply the text book by which good action films should be written around. It’s got all the elements in it, that make a top quality guns n' ammo ruckus. Namely, cool action hero, awesome badguy (with awesome bad guy crew) and it’s also got great action scenes. However what sets Die Hard apart from most other action classics, is the fact that above all else, it’s just a really clever film. The plot is fairly simple, Han’s Gruber takes control of the Nakatomi Plaza, keeping the office Christmas party folk hostage (No mince pies for that man!), while he and his boys break into the vault using the hostages as a diversion. John McClane is of course the best example of the wrong place, wrong time, action man that there’ll ever be, and it’s down to him to stop them.
What makes it genius though is so many clever touches littered throughout the script. There are so many seemingly incidental moments that later on reveal themselves to be important elements in the films plot. For example our introduction to our action hero sees Maclane being given relaxation tips from a fellow airline passenger. The tip involves McClane taking his shoes off so he can curl his toes on the carpet. It sounds meaningless but it’s an awesome use of an incidental moment as when the building is taken over, McClane is thrust into immediate action, forgetting to put his shoes back on. This leads on to the infamous “shoot the glass!” action scene later on.
The film is loaded with great moments like this (the importance of Holly Genero/McClane’s brand new xmas gift watch is another example). As well as the intelligence within the script, the film is also darn funny. It’s not a comedy, it’s not trying to be, but it’s got some great, clever, comedy. It’s funny without even really trying, in the same way as films like Superman and Back To The Future. The Agent Johnson gag is classic, as is the moment when Al Leong (henchman to the action bad guy masses) raids the candy stall while waiting to commence a shootout. All this and we also have McClane at the centre of the film, who lets fly with all manner of zingers and brilliantly funny incidental actions (acknowledging a nudie poster at an inopportune moment).
The cast in this piece of excellence is spot on. Bruce Willis almost instantly became the coolest everyman action star with this flick. McClane is character gold, and Willis brings him to life brilliantly. He does it so superbly throughout the series of Die Hard films, but not more so than in the first, and by a stratosphere, the best. The ultimate action hero thus needs a suitably and worthy counterpart, and that is exactly what we get with Gruber. Alan Rickman brings Gruber to life. He’s intelligent, ruthless and in complete control. Gruber is a sociopath, but at the same time he is totally, completely, sane. There aren’t any screws missing with Gruber, which make him a whole new level of adversary in this sort of film. Gruber knows exactly what he’s doing, and how to do it. That’s what makes him scary. Rickman is great, and invented the super-smart, suited, euro baddie template. Gruber is aided by Karl one of the best bad guy henchmen ever. Elsewhere the film has the best un-met partner (Powell) the best smarmy weasel character (Ellis) and the best incompetent chief (Dwayne T. Robinson) ever.
John McTiernan prior to this had done the guntastic, bicep-fest, Predator. Die Hard truly cemented him as one of the great action specialists of the 80’s. Under McTiernan’s watchful eye, Die Hard remains tight, slick and the action scenes are exceptional. Set piece after set piece, the film delivers, while McTiernans free reign, regarding Willis’ adlibbing, pays off dividends. The film looks great, it sounds great, the setting is a masterstroke, and the whole package is given atmosphere thanks to it’s soundtrack, and Michael Kamen’s score. Elsewhere the editing, the beats, are perfection.
Overall Die Hard remains a classic. It’s one of the most re-watchable films out there, with little nuggets always being picked up with each revisit. It remains a brilliant cohesion of action, intelligence, humour and character which few films have ever managed to emulate since. Many have copied from and aspired to be Die Hard, but all have failed. It’s simply a one off for this genre. Dagnabbit I’m off to watch it again! I’ll be back soon with number 18 in countdown.

Images:
http://moviescreenshots.blogspot.com/2006/05/die-hard-directed-by-john-mctiernan.html
http://www.moviebox.se/film/photo/diehard/#

Lightning Spread: Andy Hug VS. Ernesto Hoost

2008-01-04T09:20:00.000-08:00

May, 1996. Andy Hug defeats Mike Bernardo in the K-1 World Grand Prix Final Finale. Unleashing a barrage of constant leg kicks and punches, Hug felled the formidable South African early in the second round. Yet the path to what looked like an easy match was nothing but. Earlier in the evening, Hug went head to head and toe to toe with another K-1 legend in the making, Ernesto Hoost. K-1 terms stipulated three rounds of action with a possible two extra rounds if the fight was deemed a draw. In what would be their second meeting out of four career fights, Hug and Hoost did not disappoint.
Mr. Perfect Ernesto Hoost came out in usual fashion, stalking and pushing Mr. K-1 Andy Hug back and into the corner, unloading knees, low kicks and punches. But the Iron Man Hug withstood all attacks and in typical strategy defended only to come back swinging. As the match wore on, Andy started charging in with hands up, tying Hoost in the clinch and slugging away. Hoost would respond in kind by trapping Hug in the corner and landing punches and kicks that stumbled but never toppled Hug. In the third round, Hug began to rally, going slightly more on the offense, moving forward, getting in close with Hoost then quickly regaining distance with one-two punches and a low kick to signal his exit.
At the end of three rounds, no clear winner had emerged. Hoost had been the more aggressive fighter. Many a time Hug looked to be in trouble, turtling up under storm after storm of strikes. But perseverance was one of Andy's most dominant traits. Just when it looked like he was finished, he came back fast and hard, creeping in punches through Hoost's defense and landing low kicks. The judges declare it a draw and the fighters prepare for Extra Round Number 1.
Hoost and Hug come out more hesitant, choosing their attacks more carefully. Hug sets the pace, throwing high kicks and immediate punches that land. Hoost uses his reach and size, pushing Andy against the ropes. Already exhausted, the two tie up frequently, throwing hooks and roundhouses. Both men look like they could collapse at any time. But Andy continues to have the better of the exchanges, connecting with multiple strikes and kicks. It looks like Andy has just sealed a berth to the finals. Hoost and Hug appear enervated as they await the decision. Judges call it a draw. Extra Round Number 2 coming up.
Hug's cardio looks to be holding up better than Hoost's. Andy throws a flashy spinning hook kick and scores with high kicks and punches. Hoost throws out some sloppy kicks and pays for it as Andy presses, landing more hooks and low kicks. Hoost catches Andy in the clinch, tripping him up with a low kick that is credited as a slip, not a Knock Down. Smothering Hug with a blanket of uppercuts and knees, Hoost makes one last break for victory. The bell rings and both men hoist their fist into the air, believing they are the winner. The first judge declares Andy the victor. Hug raises his hand in triumph as the next judge agrees, giving Andy the split decision. That night turned out to be the culmination of Andy's hard work and high point of his career. He would not defeat Ernesto Hoost in their subsequent bouts, the next being the finale of 1997's K-1 Grand Prix.

Lightning Panel: Snake-Eyes & Storm Shadow

2008-01-04T05:10:00.000-08:00

The ninja and the commando. The soldier and the assassin. G.I. Joe mainstays Snake-Eyes and Storm Shadow have shared a tumultuous and convoluted history since their introduction 25 years ago. Originally friends in the Vietnam war, the two have traversed the plane of existence as the best of friends and chiefest rivals. The rift started when Storm Shadow invited Snake-Eyes to travel to Japan and join the family business. The ninja business. There, Snake-Eyes learned physical and emotional control, garnering the attention of clan leaders Hard and Soft Master. Storm-Shadow soon became jealous and was forced to flee when Hard Master was murdered. The killing tool: one of Storm Shadow's steel arrows.

Years later the two have met again. Snake-Eyes went on become a founding member of G.I. Joe while Storm Shadow sold his talents to terrorist organization Cobra. When Snake-Eyes finds out shape shifting Cobra mercenary Zartan is the true assassin, he enlists Storm Shadow to infiltrate the near impregnable Cobra island. Upon hearing the truth, Storm Shadow sets out with one goal. Zartan gets deaded.

The duo hack and slash their way through Cobra troops, filling them with bullets and arrows. But they're too late, As Cobra Commander has put the unconscious Zartan in a jet, ready for take off.
The lust for blood overwhelms Storm Shadow as he tries to sacrifice himself to stop the take off. But Snake-Eyes shows his inner compassion and saves his former friend. In their escape, the duo is separated and Snake-Eyes is rescued by his G.I. Joe comrades. Storm-Shadow fights through more Cobra troops before being gunned down by the Baroness on a nearby beach.

G.I. Joe # 45, 46, 57
Marvel Comics 1982
Larry Hama/Script
Rod Whigham/Pencils
Andy Mushynsky/Inks
Joe Rosen/Lettering
George Roussos/Colors
Dennis O'Neil/Editor
Jim Shooter/Editor in Chief
Mike Zeck/Covers

Pick up a couple issues:
mycomicshop.com
G.I. Joe Comics Homepage:
http://www.myuselessknowledge.com/joe/gihome2.html

Head Space

2007-12-31T08:48:00.001-08:00

But if someone like Steven Seagal were to slap me, I would slap him back twice as hard. Life is full of violence.
- Jean Claude Van Damme

Dick's Quick Kick: A Bittersweet Life

2007-12-31T07:48:00.000-08:00

With the new year approaching, Dick Lightning has brought in another addition to the Mixed Bag fold as comic artist James Coats gives us a quick hit of a flick you really should see.

James writes:
Released in it’s native South Korea in 2005, this violent and stylish gangster movie gives us a look into the grimy Korean underworld. To start things off, this flick looks amazing. Great cinematography. Very slick and definitely gives the movie an individual feel. Can’t say enough about the look of the film, I actually thought wow, the dirty criminal underworld has never looked so good! Story wise, Bittersweet Life is simple and straight forward. No crazy plot twists or elaborate back stories in this one. An ice cold mob enforcer gets thrown into the meat grinder, two times. He fails to follow his bosses exact orders and is also being targeted by a vengeful rival gang lord.
There’s definitely a replay value to the movie and it hits like a gust of fresh air. Casting is a big part of any movie and the actors in Bittersweet Life are fantastic. Lee Byung Hun (spellings differ depending on what site or review you’re reading) does the business as the brutal hit-man/enforcer. He’s smart and ruthless, follows orders while having conscience in his own motives. It’s no surprise he’s going to play Storm Shadow in the upcoming live action G.I. Joe film. If you get the chance to see this flick, do it. If you can handle it that is. But if you like great acting, dazzling cinematography and lots, lots and lots of violence, check it out.

James rates A Bittersweet Life as:

X Best of the Best - The Classic
Best of the Best II - Still Pretty Sweet
Best of the Best III: No Turning Back - Not so sweet, kinda crappy
Best of the Best IV: Without Warning - Getting close to craptacular

Details:
www.imdb.com
Pictures:
http://outnow.ch/Media/Img/2005/BittersweetLife/

Lightning Move: Dumbbell Pullover

2007-12-26T06:58:00.000-08:00

DUMBBELL PULLOVER

1) Sit perpendicular on a flat bench.
2) Grasp a dumbbell, resting it on your leg. You can also have someone hand it to you when in position.
3) Lower body off the bench until the upper back rests on the bench.
4) Hold dumbbell with both hands with the inner plate resting against your palms.
5) Extend arms, pushing dumbbell directly over your chest.
6) Legs are bent for support and hips are lower than your chest.

7) Lower the dumbbell away from your feet, arcing above your head towards the floor.
8) Keeping arms in their natural alignment, pull the dumbbell back towards your feet, stopping when directly above the chest and back in starting position.

Dumbbell pullovers are a great exercise for your chest, back, abs and triceps. Some trainers do the exercise lying on a flat bench, but that takes away the stretch and added ab benefit. A classic exercise utilized by such fitness icons Arnold Schwarzenegger, Frank Zane and Jean-Claude Van Damme, the pullover seemed to go by the weight room wayside along with the Arm Blaster and donkey calf raises. Oh well, their loss is your awesomeness.
Pick up some Frank Zane literature from his official site:
www.frankzane.com
Grab a hold of the greatest book known to man:
http://www.amazon.com/New-Encyclopedia-Modern-Bodybuilding-Updated/dp/0684857219/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1198687229&sr=8-1
Check out Van Damme's darkest film:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0339135/

Get pumped with Jean-Claude Van Damme in this training montage taken from In Hell. He does pullovers at about the halfway point.

Dick's Time Out: Toby Keith and family awarded $2.8 million?

2007-12-25T06:42:00.000-08:00

December, 2007. Country music star Toby Keith and family are awarded $2.8 million in the wrongful death suit of his father, H.K. Covel. Early reports hypothesized Covel had a stroke or other ailment while driving that caused HIM TO CROSS THE CENTER MEDIAN and collide with a bus. Upon further investigation, it's stated that Covel was sideswiped or bumped by another vehicle, causing him to strike the bus head on. Ok, so they caught the sideswiping/rear bumping, hit and run driver right? NO! The family sued the bus driver and company! Apparently the bus needed new brakes, and the prosecution believed the death could have been avoided if said advisement was followed and the bus was equipped with new air-brakes. Now Keith and the Covel family feel the father's name has been cleared of any wrong doing. Wow.
What a country. What a family. You're driving down the road, somebody going the opposite direction crosses the median, on a major highway mind you, hits you, and it's YOUR fault. In an interview, Keith said Covel was only going 35 miles an hour...he was too good a driver. It isn't clear what section of Oklahoma's I-35 Covel was driving on, but the highway itself is a major north-south route stretching from Texas to Minnesota. And driving in the lane closest to the median would put you in the far left, the passing lane. Why would somebody be driving 35 miles per hour in the passing lane on a major freeway? Aren't highway speed limits usually between 55 and 70 miles per hour?
Congratulations to Toby Keith and family for clearing the name of H.K. Covel, pointing fingers at whoever they could and taking them for millions. I too, hope someday to be able to profit from such a ridiculous, self-important quest devoid of any real closure or sense of justice. At the end of the day, the celebrity and family can tell themselves they're right while counting their millions. No leads on the hit and run vehicle huh?

Keith's initial thoughts:
http://music.yahoo.com/read/news/12049373
The Payout:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071225/ap_on_en_mu/people_toby_keith
Overview of Interstate 35
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I-35

Lightning Will: Captain America's Mind Black Smithing

2007-12-25T03:21:00.000-08:00

We've seen the amazing exploits of the living legend time and time again. Well documented observations have compared Captain America to a panther ready to pounce, as intelligent as he is strong and Marvel's best looking hero, a comic book Robert Redford. But Cap's greatest skill isn't something that can be obtained through radioactive spider bites, cosmic ray bombardment or genetic mutation. The trait that sets Captain America above and beyond his contemporaries, detractors and imitators, is his sheer force of will. We take you back to 1984. The stage, Battleword. The event, the Secret Wars. Captain America's trusty and thought indestructible shield has been shattered in an all out battle across the mysterious and remote alien planet.
It lies before him like a wounded friend...How many times has it saved his life?...It is forever broken...Unless by force of will...or sheer desire...

It's not Spider-Man that deserves the Amazing moniker.

For more, visit:
http://www.marvel.com/universe/Secret_Wars
For the complete collection:
http://www.amazon.com/Marvel-Super-Heroes-Secret-Wars/dp/078511873X/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1198581730&sr=8-1

Head Space

2007-12-23T14:00:00.000-08:00

Oh what? So you a big fan of the Fett?
- Kevin Smith as Warlock, Live Free or Die Hard (2007)

Dick's Michael Biehn Flick of the Day: Timebomb

2007-12-22T10:13:00.000-08:00

TIMEBOMB (1991)
Mild mannered watch maker Eddy Kay leads a quiet life. He rides his bike to work, has a closet full of the same outfit and orders a glass of milk with dinner. One night, Eddy inexplicably enters a burning building to rescue a trapped mother and child. Face flashed across the news, Eddy is identified by creepy government honcho Mr. Phillips. Turns out Eddy Kay is a presumed dead subject of super soldier experiment Project Bluebird. Now with the remaining stone cold killers of Project Bluebird on his tail, Eddy and psychoanalyst Dr. Anna Nolmar set out to uncover the truth while evading assassination.

Michael Biehn Flick Vital Stats

Character: Eddy Kay, amnesiac killing machine of Project Bluebird.

Range: Starts at nice/polite to confused/nervous to violent/paranoid to relieved/confident.

The Looks: Preppy: Coiffed, V-neck sweater, shirt and tie. Victim of the period: Pseudo mullet, denim jacket, bright red shirt and green cargo pants. Classic badass: Slicked back, black t-shirt, leather jacket and jeans.

Allies: Dr. Anna Nolmar/Patsy Kensit. Det. Sanchez/Raymond St. Jacques.

Opposition: Mr. Phillips/Robert Culp. Ms. Blue/Tracy Scoggins. Mr. Brown/Billy Blanks.

Beatdowns: By fist, by feet, with machine guns, shotguns, chains and a bed sheet.

Scores: Yes. For real in a hotel room and in his mind, kind of.

Eats a dirt sandwich: No way, he just found out who he really is!

Anchored by Biehn's near schizophrenic performance and peppered with crisp and varied action scenes, the flick makes a foundation strong addition to any VHS collection (yep, no Region 1 DVD for this baby). With an ambitious plot and equal doses of violence and sexuality, Timebomb is a change of pace from the usual 90's low budget action thriller. Inspired by writer/director Avi Nesher's real life experience and view of the military, Timebomb is a variation of man playing Supreme Being. This time, the man is the military, vying to create a skilled, dedicated and conscience free organism of war. But trying to control Michael Biehn is like grabbing the bull by the horns, you're gonna get shanked. Far from a one man show, lovely Patsy Kensit is fine (in two ways if you know what I'm talking about and I think you do) as Biehn's companion and love interest. Robert Culp plays a creepy old government man extra creepy. Mr. Tae-Bo himself Billy Blanks fights, shoots and screams as Biehn's chief adversary from Project Bluebird. And Ms. Tracy Scoggins, the genre regular cements her iconic status having now appeared opposite such action luminaries as Adrian Paul, Chuck Norris, Dean Cain and of course, Michael Biehn.

For more technical information please visit:
IMDB Movie Page:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105597/
Media Articles and all around comprehensive Michael Biehn site:
http://www.biehnarchive.com/data/articles/timebomb/articles.html

Lightning Across the Pond: FARGO

2007-12-22T05:11:00.000-08:00

Here at Dick Lightning's Mixed Bag, we are dedicated to bringing you, the reader, a diverse and eclectic perspective on popular culture past and present. Today, we proudly present a new addition to the Dick Lightning Team, all the way from the United Kingdom, as Tom Jolliffe takes us back to 1996 for the first installment of his personal favorite twenty films. Let's get it started, with FARGO.

Tom writes:
As a movie lover I’ve often had long deliberation about my favorite movies, and also about what I consider the best movies. My enjoyment, for example, of Dolph Lundgren films is something I’ve grown up with, but I’ll readily admit, in the overall scope of cinema, they’re not what you’d consider important works. Masters Of The Universe one of my childhood favourites, is in the cold light of day; a bit crap. I still love it despite it’s craptitude, but it was a failure for a reason. Over the coming weeks I’ll be delivering a review for my top 20 films. This is my most current top 20, which no doubt will change by the time I’ve listed them out. So for your viewing pleasure we shall begin.

To start my top 20, I’ve got a bit of Coen brothers magic. It really was a difficult toss up between this and The Big Lebowski. Heck, Millers Crossing began poking it’s oar in the waters too. However Fargo ended up winning the day with a swift kick in the junk from Frances McDormand.

Fargo’s a great film. It’s dark, funny, intelligent and just downright brilliant. The Coen brothers have crafted a film that’s got both a brilliant script and brilliant directing. It’s got a bit of the caper about it and is helped along by unique and engaging characters.
The film is about Jerry Lundegaard, mild mannered, downtrodden family man who decides one day to have a go at scamming. Not a good move. Lundegaard arranges for his wife to be kidnapped so he can get some ransom money from his tight fisted father in law. Unfortunately Jerry has no aptitude for being a criminal and gets involved with the wrong people. Pretty soon things start going wrong and escalate. Adding to his problems is Marge Gunderson (Frances McDormand) a small town and heavily pregnant sherrif who’s persistent investigation might be Jerry’s undoing. The plot twists and turns nicely and just on the whole, it’s a brilliantly written piece of work.

The cast is superb. It’s always been a Coen’s trademark to pull together excellent casts, and not always necessarily the star names of the time. Fargo is a great collection of characters actors, pulled together and given parts fitting their strengths perfectly. As Jerry, William H Macy is superb. A great delivery of a great character. Despite having his own wife kidnapped we feel Jerry is a character of immense desperation and naivety. Because of the writing and Macy’s own nuances, Jerry remains a sympathetic character right to the end. You just get the feeling he didn’t think things through enough. Then we have Frances McDormand, a fantastic actress, and dang if she isn’t just strangely hot, in that unconventionally hot kind of way. Deservedly she won the Oscar for her portrayal as Marge. Again it’s a character which has been written with such depth and consideration that is brought to life by one of the most interesting actresses working today. It of course really helps to have a character actress playing such a role. In support we have a couple of legendary Coen secondary characters, Carl and Gaear, played by Steve Buscemi and Peter Stormare.

As per usual The Coen’s have crafted a visual delight. The film looks great, from the perfect settings to of course the stylish direction. Aided by a superb DP (Roger Deakins) the bro’s manage to really catch the eye here. The cohesion between the material and it’s delivery is note perfect. It’s just magnificent stuff. You always get the feeling that in a Coen film they have the whole movie laid out in their heads by the time the script is finished, and it’s shot to an almost perfect match. These boys know what they’re doing and have an immense attention to detail that guys like Ridley Scott, Kubrick, Cameron have always had. Elsewhere the film is superbly edited, and the score from Carter Burwell is simple and effective.

Overall it must be said, that Fargo is a unique crime thriller, with it’s very own inimitable Coen style. I’m looking forward very much to seeing No Country For Old Men which promises to be one of the brothers finest, and a return to form following a couple of restrained “Hollywood” efforts before it.

Join me for number 19 in my top 20, pretty soon. Later peeps.

For Movie Information:
www.imdb.com
For Movie Images:
http://outnow.ch/Media/Img/1996/Fargo/

Stat Lightning: Dublin Davis Irish report

2007-12-19T17:47:00.000-08:00

And it is all over! Yet it has barely just begun. In another impressive showcase of conditioning, offense and darn fine coaching, the Dublin Davis Irish 8th Grade Girls Basketball Team moves to an impressive 6-0 season as we move into the Holiday rush. Already a successful seasoned veteran coach in cross country, track and basketball, Daren Obrynba continues to push himself and his team to the limit. When asked his expectations at the start of the season, the hard nosed Obrynba claimed he wanted to win a game by shut out. That lofty expectation is quickly becoming a feasible reality as the Dublin Davis Irish 8th Grade Girls Basketball Team has kept half of their opponents' scores in the single digits and won games by margins of up to and over 30 points. A renaissance sportsman, Coach Obrynba wouldn't single out any individual player's performance, preferring to define the squad as one solid functioning machine, poised and determined to continue their dominating trek.

11/27/07 VS. Marysville Monarchs
Victory! 31-9
11/29/07 VS. Olentangy Liberty Warriors
Victory! 41-10
12/4/07 VS. Finland Vikings
Victory! 49-9
12/6/07 VS. Brookpark Trojans
Victory! 33-26
12/11/07 VS. Kilbourne Wolves
Victory! 26-15
12/13/07 VS. Pleasent View Panthers
Victory! 30-8

Dick's Track: Cast No Shadow - OASIS

2007-12-19T12:45:00.000-08:00

Cast No Shadow - OASIS
Written by Noel Gallagher. Lead vocals by Liam Gallagher. Released on 1995's What's the Story Morning Glory? A softer cut from Oasis' massive second album, Cast No Shadow mixes Noel Gallagher's heady lyrics with big orchestra sound similar to the band's mega hit Wonderwall. Famously dedicated to but not inspired by The Verve front man Richard Ashcroft, Cast No Shadow resonates at a near philosophical level versus Gallagher's usual use if it fits into the established rhythm style.

Here's a thought for every man
Who tries to understand what is in his hands
He walks along the open road of Love & Life surviving if he can

Bound with all the weight of all the words he tried to say
Chained to all the places that he never wished to stay
Bound with all the weight of all the words he tried to say
and as faced the sun he cast no shadow

As they took his soul they stole his pride

As observed, themes akin to hitting bottom and feeling invisible are a far cry from Oasis' usual upbeat and optimistic world view a la Live Forever and Acquiesce. But unlike many of Oasis' well known tunes, the song seems to tell a story through its lyrics that is enhanced by the eerily soothing accompanying orchestra.

During the band's popularity hey day, Cast No Shadow would be played and sung by Noel during a short acoustic set mid concert to give brother/front man Liam a chance to rest (or grab a pint). A re-mixed version of the tune with vocals by Noel was released on the soundtrack to Soccer movie trilogy GOAL! in 2005. Noel and band guitarist/songwriter Gem Archer embarked on a small promotional tour in late 2006 where Cast No Shadow was a set list regular along B-side Talk Tonight and a cover of The Beatles' Strawberry Fields Forever.

Below is a clip from a 1996 concert at Maine Road, where Oasis broke the attendance record for an indoor venue in England.

Lightning Spread: Mr. K-1 Andy Hug

2007-12-18T07:05:00.000-08:00

ANDY HUG

December, 2007. Holland's Semmy Schilt captures the K-1 World Grand Prix Championship for a third time, beating out a field of veteran fighters including Jerome Le Banner, Peter Aerts, Glaube Feitosa and Remy Bonjasky. Established in 1993, K-1 fused traditional martial arts like Karate, Kung-Fu, Kick-Boxing and Tae Kwon Do (they all have a K in the name, get it?) with elaborate production values to deliver a product fans around the world could cheer.
May, 1996. A driven and aggressive fighter with a Kyokushin Karate background wins the World GP. Crowds ate up his never give up attitude, impressive physicality and exciting fighting style. Nicknames like Iron Man, The Typhoon, Blue Eyed Samurai and Mr. K-1 were bestowed upon him as he embodied the traits of a champion. As composed and respectful as he was skilled and eager to win, Andy Hug was a crucial example and reason of K-1's popularity across the globe.
Before entering the realm of Kick-Boxing, Hug was the most successful non-Japanese fighter in the sport of Kyokushin's history. When he segued into Kick-Boxing, Andy became a noted generalist fighter, never relying solely on his hands or feet in a bout. As one of K-1's smaller fighters, Andy constantly gave up inches and pounds to much larger fighters like Mike Bernardo, Ernesto Hoost and Mirko Filipovic. Andy's ability to weather storms of punches and kicks then retaliate quickly and unexpectedly made him a favorite among crowds. His rapid-fire punch combinations, wicked low kicks and impressive ax kicks were more than enough to excite the fans.
Coming into his own as a fighter and in the middle of his career, Andy entered the 1996 World GP, defeating Bart Vale by Knock Out, Duane Van Der Merwe by Knock Out and Ernesto Hoost by Decision to face Mike Bernardo in the finals. Hug had lost two hard fought matches against the formidable Bernardo before but was ready for their third meeting. Utilizing his quickness to strike and move in and out of range, Hug landed low kick after low kick until Bernardo hit the canvas in pain. Bernardo managed to get back to his feet, trying to use his lead leg to keep Hug at bay. But Andy saw the opening and unleashed a highlight reel low spinning hook kick that buckled Bernardo's knee.

In 1997, Hug defeated Pierre Guenette by Technical Knock Out, Masaaki Satake by Knock Out and Peter Aerts by Decision to face Ernesto Hoost in the finals. Andy would fall by Decision in the third of four matches with Hoost throughout their careers.
In 1998, Andy battled his way to the finals again, defeating Mark Russell by Knock Out, Ray Sefo by Technical Knock Out and Sam Greco by Decision to face The Dutch Lumberjack, Peter Aerts in the finals. In their fourth and final match against one another, Aerts emerged victorious via Knock Out by head kick.
Outside the ring, Andy Hug's life philosophy can best be summed up in his own words. "Know yourself, keep yourself under control, understand yourself, steel yourself, cleanse your mind and keep your body fit." Reserved and respectful, Hug worked hard in the gym and expected much from himself. Known for training while sick and fighting with broken toes, fingers, even a hand, Hug was a true warrior. His popularity among fans prompted the K-1 organization to hold a Fight Night event in Hug's homeland of Switzerland for six consecutive years where Hug went undefeated.
Looking to retire from Kick-Boxing and begin acting, Andy Hug died suddenly from complications arisen from treatment for acute myeloid leukemia and bone marrow disease in 2000. He was 35.

As a former martial artist, body building enthusiast and Mixed Martial Arts fan, I appreciate and admire what Mr. K-1 brought and represented inside the ring and out. I only wish to have been familiar with his exploits sooner but will continue spreading the word.

For more information, check out:
Andy Hug Official Web site
http://www.andyhug.com

Fighting & Entertainment Group
http://www.k-1.co.jp/
K-1 Fans
http://k-1fans.com/
K-1 Source
http://www.k-1sport.de/en/index.php

Words and still images don't do Andy Hug near enough justice. These videos available on YouTube as Andy Hug the Story are a fantastic introduction to the Blue Eyed Samurai and also serve as great motivators when you just don't feel like training or the day has been a drain.

Head Space

2007-09-23T17:05:00.000-07:00

Who says he's a legend? He's a legend in his own f*cking mind. See this dude (holds up clenched fist) ? This is the mind eraser.
- Phil Baroni